If you stacked every social media article that has been published this year on top of each other, you’d be able to wrap the serpentine paper trail around the planet 3.4 times.
It’s an educated guess, but I have a feeling I’m not far off.
I became aware of the fact when I was looking at the magazine stand on the 23rd Street 6 train platform. Time Out New York dedicated their cover to social media and had no less than four stories about how the internet phenomenon affects both hip and non-hip New Yorkers.
It dawned on me that these stories usually follow the same arch and doubtless all stem from the same template. I have gone to great pains to locate said Template and I’m happy to reprint my discovery below.
Since it’s Friday I believe I’m allowed to take some creative liberties and dispense a few low-blows:
Top 5 Ways Social Media Will Help You (or, insert alternatively, Your Business)
If you’ve ever used the internet you’ve come across social media. You’ve probably even used it before—especially if you have used sites like Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and [insert either Foursquare, Yelp, or Flickr]
In fact over [insert large number] of Americans say they are extremely [insert adjective] about social media.
It’s also got the attention of corporate America.
If your business hasn’t got the social media bug you’re missing out. But it’s your fault—in today’s world of tweets and uploads—it’s easy to get [insert verb].
But it’s not that difficult says [insert name of 20-something CEO or CIO]. In fact, it’s quite easy.
“You just have to be yourself on social media platforms,” [20-something CEO will say this or a variation—so don’t worry]. In fact, according to, [insert name of yet-to-be-named CEO].
It turns out he/she might be right.
Over 98 percent of online users like funny, original, and [insert adjective] content. People don’t really like dry, promotional material. So if you’re a small business owner remember to keep your social media content truthful, fresh, and fun.
“It’s about being true to what’s you,” reports avid internet user [insert name of someone you know who uses the web a lot]. “I don’t like it when I see ads or something. I like things that relate to my life…stuff that can make me laugh.”
The challenge for business owners, in the social media age, is doing just that—but it’s not a science.
However analysts have come up with a few solid rules every business should follow.
Here are the top 5 social media rules that you have to [insert verb]!
- Ensure that all your content is exciting or funny.
- Make sure to complete and maintain all your social media profiles.
- Make sure the conversation isn’t one sided. Talk with others.
- Don’t friend people just to be their friends!
- Don’t be boring!
If you can follow these rules your businesses social media success won’t fail big time.
Good luck tweeting and see you on Facebook!
Picture Credit: TomorrowStand
